To understand why self-sabotaging is such a common behavior and why it can be so hard to get out of, it's important to first understand how your mind works.
As a certified hypnotist, I know that your mind's Number One job is to keep you safe. Everything else, including your desires and what you actually want in life, takes a back seat to that main job. That is the mind's default setting.
As you can guess, we often run into trouble when what we want and what we unconsciously need to feel safe are in opposition to each other.
This is when self-sabotage can occur.
So what exactly is self-sabotage? So sabotage occurs when there is tension between what we desire and perceived, often unconscious needs, which results in disharmonious, conflicted behavior.
The mind, by default, wants to actively avoid discomfort and anything unknown. But as we get older, we realize that what we most want and desire lies in the unknown.
One very common way that self-sabotage shows up is when we are experiencing resistance to the very things that we want most. If you find yourself trying to make a change in your life - such as a big change in your job, starting a business, pursuing more clients, taking action towards improving your job or finances, or doing any change that will improve your life for the better - you may be experiencing self-sabotaging behavior.
So what to do about this?
#1. Be compassionate. You are not broken. Remember always that you, just like a puppy, perform best with love, praise and patience. One of the most harmful things that people do is to beat themselves up, which only makes the situation worse.
#2. Ask yourself, "What could be scaring me about this change that I most want? What needs will staying where I am help me to meet?" The truth is that every change actually brings both positive and "negative" things. For example, starting a business or chasing more clients could also mean an increase in the time that you are spending on your business. This means that you will have to take time away from other things, including things that you may like a great deal. This is just one example. You may need to get honest about unconscious or hidden things that scare you in order to face it, challenge it and Make sure you are meeting that need in a better way (i.e. making a personal contract with yourself to ensure that you still make time to do the fun things you like to do in the earlier example).
#3. Stay connected to your big WHYs - The big reasons that you want to make this change. Your desire is a powerful, powerful force in your life. It can be harnessed to bring incredible changes into your life. It's vital that you keep your inner fire - your passion, your desires, your wants and your pool towards your dreams - lit and fed. Immerse yourself in the company of others who are serious about desiring the changes that you want in your life, as they can help to push you towards what you want.
And finally, hypnosis is a powerful and effective way to make these changes, though it is certainly not the only way.
Once you really get comfortable with the unknown, there is no stopping you in life.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kesha Dent is a certified hypnotist, certified RTT hypnotherapist, transformational coach and author of "Life Change Now: A 3-Step Guide to Manifesting What You Want Through the Magic of Being Who You Are". She helps professional adults to overcome negative, self-sabotaging thoughts, to see more forward momentum and to feel confident and in control of their lives, careers and businesses. You can find her at www.newworldcoaching.org .
KESHA DENT, CERTIFIED HYPNOTIST
Kesha Dent is a certified hypnotist, certified RTT hypnotherapist, transformational coach and author of "Life Change Now: A 3-Step Guide to Manifesting What You Want Through the Magic of Being Who You Are". She helps professional adults to achieve life success, overcome anxiety, reignite their confidence and break out of their limitations to create a life of purpose, productivity and passion. You can find her at www.newworldcoaching.org .