believe in yourself more than what scares you

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“Believe in yourself.”

If you're like me, you grew up with this phrase in your head and in front of you, day in and day out.

It was on posters in the school cafeteria.

It came from teachers. And counselors. And it also came from television.

It was everywhere.

And yet, so many of us grow up to not believe in ourselves, in our power, or in our ability to get what we want. Why is that?

As a certified consulting hypnotist, I understand that there's more to our mental programming then simply being told to believe in yourself.

As we navigate life in society, our self-belief is often being eroded.

So what is self-belief?

Simply put, your self-belief is your engine.

Self-belief is what shapes your response to life, and most specifically, to obstacles.
Obstacles are a constant in life and they certainly stand between you and what you want. How you respond to those obstacles depends on your level of self-belief. The more self-belief you have, the less chance obstacles have to get in your way and keep you from getting what you want.
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So what are some signs that you may have lower self-belief?
 
1.Comparison-itis. This made up but very real word refers to our tendency to compare ourselves to others. The catch is that we most often come up short. If you frequently compare yourself to others and find yourself feeling as though you are broken or inferior, then this is a sign that you may have lower self-belief. If you don't believe you are actually capable of getting what you want, you are likely to sabotage yourself or to give up when you meet resistance.

2. Believing more in obstacles than you do in yourself.  We all have obstacles, though many of us will have more than others. There are many obstacles to success and achievement that relate to wealth gaps, race, class, education, social connections, bodily ability and more.
 
And these obstacles are definitely real. And we have a lot of work as a society to do to make this world more fair for everyone.
 
However, for every person who claims that these obstacles keep them for what they want, you will find three or five others who have those same obstacles and overcame them.
 
If you believe in the obstacles more than you believe in yourself, the obstacles will persist. You must believe in yourself more than any obstacle that stands in your way.

3.An excessive attachment to obedience. Many of us are raised to be extremely obedient to authority figures and to others.
 
This has been proven to be even more so among girls and those raised in very restrictive or religious families and communities.
 
Obedience in itself has virtues and benefits. But too much of it can absolutely rob you of your self-belief. Self-belief grows best when you are allowed to make mistakes, to push back and to experience your own power. Obedience notoriously conflicts with this concept.
 
So what can we do when we want to increase our self-belief?

A very simple formula that anyone can do right away is this:

Praise. Act. Repeat.

Praise is so important to grow your self-belief.

How often to do this? You want to do it every day, aggressively and so much so that you begin to install what master hypnotherapist Marissa Peer calls the Inner Coach to counter and challenge the inner critic, which is what so many of us have in our heads that rob us of our self-belief.
 
You want to act relentlessly and take not just any action, but action that takes you out of your comfort zone and that requires courage and resilience.
And you want to repeat this over and over. You want to create an upward cycle of praising yourself and encouraging yourself to act, and acting and creating and giving birth to more of your own power.
 
Praise yourself again for being a witness to that power and seeing all the incredible effects that you have on this world and in your life.

And this way, you can build your self-belief like a muscle and begin to see wonderful changes unfold for you.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kesha Dent is a certified hypnotist, certified RTT hypnotherapist, transformational coach and author of "Life Change Now: A 3-Step Guide to Manifesting What You Want Through the Magic of Being Who You Are". She helps professional adults to achieve life success, overcome anxiety, reignite their confidence and break out of their limitations to create a life of purpose, productivity and passion. You can find her at www.newworldcoaching.org  .