Confidence in women - why it's so important and how to grow it

WATCH CONFIDENCE IN WOMEN VLOG

You know the classic advice for changing your life for the better.

Go to school.

Study hard, train, hard and do it all over again, right?

But the truth is, if that's all there is to it, why are there so many well-trained, well-educated, hard-working women who are so unfulfilled in life?

As a certified hypnotist and mindset expert, I know that confidence has everything to do with the type of career you have, the type of lifestyle that you have, what you go for, what you feel like you can go for and actually achieve, and of course ultimately what you do achieve.

After all, confidence is how well you feel that you handle the unknown. Confidence is all about your relationship to the unknown, and most likely the change that you want is to be found in the unknown.

A while ago, I read a book called The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance - What Women Should Know by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman.
 
It changed my life and forever changed how I look at how confidence can develop.
We are so often conditioned and shaped to be a certain way to please others, and though this traditional difference can be a beautiful thing, it can also cause intentional and unintentional side effects.
 
For example, traditionally, males are often permitted to have desires and to aggressively pursue them. They're actually praised for pursuing achievements and taking action.

​Now, on the other hand, females are often traditionally raised to avoid conflict and to be accommodating. They're more often encouraged to be neat and nice, kind and good.
They're more often discouraged from being aggressive and having worldly desires. And they're often praised more for qualities that are passive such as beauty, kindness, obedience, etc.
 
And how does that affect us?
 
Well, we're finding as this tends to increase male confidence more especially when it comes to going after things that you want, honoring your boundaries, asserting yourself and seeking and comfortably wielding power.


Women, on the other hand, often are more likely to hold back, to want perfection before any action is taken, and to doubt themselves. Women will tend to self-doubt themselves more often and this can go directly back to the way we are raised.

What can we possibly do about?

#1. Well, first of all, I want you to Number One have self-compassion for yourself. Societal conditioning is an old, old game, and though there can be beauty in tradition, there is a lot of fear that can go into society’s shaping of you. But the good news is that you can change beginning right now.
 
 
#2.  It’s time to give yourself permission to go after what you want.
Deciding that you deserve and desire to have more, to stick up for yourself and to go after what you want may feel very uncomfortable for you because you are countering previous conditioning. If you struggle to do this, you may need to work on giving yourself permission to thrive and play bigger and bolder.

#3. Learn to manage your negative and fearful thoughts. When you change, negative thoughts may occur to pull you back down to where you were. Learn to manage them and develop a plan to deal with them.
#4. When you take action towards what you want, no matter how small, praise yourself! Praise and self-praise is the antidote to low confidence and low self-esteem.
 
#5.  Do something every day, every week, every month, that scares you and praise yourself for doing so.

​In our formative years, we have little say in how we are shaped. But your mind is a force to be reckoned with, and you have the power and the ability to make changes to yourself that benefit you, your family and your life.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kesha Dent is a certified hypnotist, certified RTT hypnotherapist, transformational coach and author of "Life Change Now: A 3-Step Guide to Manifesting What You Want Through the Magic of Being Who You Are". She helps professional adults to achieve life success, overcome anxiety, reignite their confidence and break out of their limitations to create a life of purpose, productivity and passion. You can find her at www.newworldcoaching.org  .