9 signs you are getting in your own way

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Have you been trying to create change for a while now (months? years?) and keep finding yourself in the same place? We've all been there! As a certified hypnotist, I know that understanding how your mind works is key to breaking self-defeating patterns and finding your way forward. So how to know when you are getting in your own way and sabotaging yourself? Here are 9 signs (and explanations)!
 
1. Have you desired the same thing for a long time now without getting it? This hints at cyclical, repeating patterns of behavior, which often occur because of our ingrained, automatic responses to challenge and obstacles.

2. Do you tend to compare yourself constantly to others and repeatedly come to the conclusion that you are somehow a lower value than other people? “Comparison-itis” is a fun, modern word that defines the not-so-fun tendency we have to measure ourselves against others. If you do this a lot, and find yourself coming up short, it is likely you may not believe you have what it takes to get what you want, which can cause you to behave in just that way.

3. Do you tend to hyper focus on everything that is going wrong as opposed to everything that is going right? Very, very few of us can make changes without at least something NOT going the way we planned. So in other words, things are almost guaranteed to go wrong while you are working to make them right. When – not if – that happens, the only way to keep yourself moving forward is by focusing on what is going right. Focusing on what is going wrong I easier to do, and unfortunately this also just tends to scare you from moving forward.

4. Do you notice repeating patterns in your life where something often happens that prevents you from getting what you want? Again, this can hint at repeating patterns in your life, and repeating patterns give us the same results over and over again. In order to move forward, we must find the place of personal power where we are repeating and change the behavior.

5.Do you frequently procrastinate?  This is probably the most famous and well-known sign! Yep, procrastination is avoidance. If you are avoiding what you know will move you forward and get you what you want, you are definitely getting in your own way. But you probably knew that already!

6.Do you often get distracted from doing things that will move you closer to what you want? Distraction, like procrastination, is another form of avoidance, which is behavior that is designed to keep you from moving towards what you want.

7. Do you believe that you would have what you want in your life if it weren't for other people, your family, your genetics, other outside people and other things? While outside obstacles are very real, are they useful? You could just throw up your hands and say, “I can’t get that because of all the things that are in my way.” But will that make you happy? And for every person who claims that, there are several more with the same obstacles in their way that overcame them. Blaming outside obstacles is a way to keep yourself where you are and not move forward.

8.When you want to try something new, are you prone to worrying or imagining the worst case scenario? Again, you must focus on what is going right and what could go right in order to move forward. Focusing on what is going wrong will just keep you stuck, afraid to disrupt anything.

9.Do you struggle with life purpose or direction, even after spending time to determine that?  If you have struggled with finding life purpose or direction for a long time, even after spending time to determine it, you may just be in your own way. It’s not unusual for us to approach our life purpose through a lens of perfectionism, wanting to figure out our “perfect” purpose and the ”perfect” job and the “perfect” path. The most important thing is to move, and often you may not realize the right direction until you’ve picked just any direction. If you are obsessing over which way to go, you are getting in your own way. Move first, and you’ll find where you really want to go.
 
If you suspect you are getting in your own way, check out our free online program “Stop Holding Yourself Back!” at www.newworldcoaching.org .

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​ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kesha Dent is a certified hypnotist, certified RTT hypnotherapist, transformational coach and author of "Life Change Now: A 3-Step Guide to Manifesting What You Want Through the Magic of Being Who You Are". She helps professional adults to achieve life success, overcome anxiety, reignite their confidence and break out of their limitations to create a life of purpose, productivity and passion. You can find her at www.newworldcoaching.org  .